steph-the-fangirl-925

ohhowlucky:

danteogodofsoup:

killbenedictcumberbatch:

standupcomedyblog:

John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner

THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE

GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY

This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.

Lmao

Fantasy

I had a dream a real naughty dream. It begins like this….
I buzz
You answer
I say meet me in the elevator
You say no the stairwell.
We meet halfway from the ground floor and your floor.
We kiss as you pull down my pants and yours
I lift you up and brace you against the wall as we start to fuck. Kissing biting scratching
#naughty #fantasy #yummy

Hidden

On the outside I am a teddybear. Of course my personality has aspects of that too…but deep in my dark places I have the same urges as many of you. Just don’t know where to start and doesn’t help not having someone to delve into those naughty stuff
#amateurdeviant

Sitting at coffee culture after my walk. And a bit down. Seeing all the “happy” couples and me with no one. Never bothered me before why now.
My “favorite” line is there is someone out there for you.
Ya well she must be a ninja or hide n seek champion of the world. Knowing my luck she lives in Timbuktu